{my thoughts on} 
a wake-up call with no voice 

more or less a text.... WA-BAM! the most sudden WA-BAM you have ever had. enough gained by just sweet sixteen words grouped together in a way that was nothing to one and everything to another.
approaching a new year it could not have felt any better of a time to start beginning each of my days:
as someone and not as something.
courageously being myself. 
finding a path that is brighter. everysingleday.
more fearlessly.
taking { BOLD } chances.
dancing through my days with trust {in myself} that i will face beautiful things in life
..................................................................................
i believe in myself. this is a gift i will always have and hold close to my heart. thinking about it, i am glad i hold it with a firm grip....
 
[to me] believing in the person you are (totally) is not something that comes {honestly} from many people you face. of course, you have your "biggest believers".  if your list of "bb's"  consist of, hmm lets say, four people then quickly divide that in half (quickly do so because the longer you think hard about the people (the ones who say "they believe in you") who put such a false face on each day are the ones you are usually making up excuses for. unaware but often in your own head and frequently to others) so trust your quick division process and move along.....
dance through your days.
and when you are faced with a rhythm of an uncertain beat- hold nothing back. express yourself. give the world a glimpse of what you have.
you have nothing to lose because of all the {real} deserving belief you have in yourself.



a pretty large (but confident) decision.................................................
after receiving what i referred to as "a wake up call with no voice"
i knew something had to be different this time in order for it to be as big of an eye opener as a fireworks show finale is but with different emotions. {and that it was}

-putting a situation into a movie-
the last time (okay....multiple times) it was playing at the movie theater (you know, the cinema in my brain)
sure, this movie was a "big hit".... ratings were high enough for them to even extend the time frame of showing the movie.... over and over again.
but when the credits played they were all excuses for every single bit of the movie.
perhaps the part that made you cry...
or that one little detail you cringed about but could not get it out of your head for anything.
the scene where you covered your eyes and pretended something totally magical was happening when it was in reality abuse of some sort.
or the love song that is dedicated but with total dishonesty in the emotions department....

there comes a time where the "replay" button needs to be totally taken away and replaced with an employee (aka-one of your REAL biggest believers) for a quick rewind on the big screen. discussing in detail about all the bothersome parts of the movie that are followed by credits excuses. are you really getting your admission worth being filled with those type credits? why absolutely not. that is when it is considered a smart move if you chose to do this one thing:
keep your distance from "actors". (that would be all you sweet cheeks putting on a pitiful front to the world)
they often get confused in the roles they are playing. their producers expect strict role play and you deserve the opposite....in fact, no scripts are needed because you deserve what is real and far from anyone sending you memorized words......
(b/c that's just their lines for that movie)
and it means nothing.

m